Well we had the children talk today.
My husband talked to his mom+dad on the phone and once again they asked him when they were going to be grandparents! Suddenly, he changes his tune and thinks maybe we shouldn't wait to have kids...maybe we should start now instead of waiting a few years like I (ahem...WE) planned.
Most of our reasons for wanting to wait are financial, but it goes deeper than that. In my first post I said that our dream that we are saving for is to buy a house, but that's only half the story. We want a house with a lot of land and horses. Owning a horse farm, that's our real dream. And so in my mind, I was putting off having kids until we start on that dream. Is that unrealistic? Should we just start now? I figure either way we are savers at heart, our goals for saving will just have to adjust (saving for college and such)...
AHHHH!! It really stresses me out. And with our luck, we probably can't have kids anyways. I mean what if we do wait until I'm 30 or something and then it takes 10 years to concieve!! And of course there is always the Army to take into consideration...This may not be competely relevant to a PF Blog, but it's on my mind so you guys get to read it! Any and all comments/suggestions are welcome!
Our Future Children...
March 26th, 2007 at 06:40 pm
March 26th, 2007 at 07:04 pm
March 26th, 2007 at 07:30 pm
March 26th, 2007 at 08:21 pm
I had my first child at 21 and 2nd at 24. If I knew then what I know now I would have waited a few more years (at least until 25) just to be set up better financially. Children are a financial drain, bless 'em.
But you have to do what's best for you and your DH, not his parents or anyone else.
Good luck with your decision.
March 26th, 2007 at 08:50 pm
March 27th, 2007 at 07:08 am
My dh and I were going to wait to 30 and at 25 we felt financially ready and just went for it. I know too many people who waited too long and could not get pregnant (though I don't think waiting was the reason why. I know plenty of new moms in their 40s!) and many who had accidents, I feel so blessed we had our children when we wanted them. But I felt in a way listening to our guts and going with the flow helped. I know too many people trying to force it.
You are young, if you want to make progress towards your goals, now is the best time before you have kids. Believe me!!! But if kids are really important to you, maybe it doesn't matter. For the most part though if you listen to your gut you will know when it is right.
Good Luck!
March 27th, 2007 at 07:48 am
March 27th, 2007 at 10:03 am
March 27th, 2007 at 10:29 am
March 27th, 2007 at 04:03 pm
March 27th, 2007 at 07:56 pm
March 27th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
How young is your MIL? Is she still of an age to have another child? The next time she asks, throw it back at her that if she wants a baby around so much maybe she needs to provide your future child with another uncle or aunt before you're ready to provide her with a grandkid. Just saying.
Another issue to consider is how often your husband will be around. My DH is gone a lot for work, basicallly half the year, though not consecutively and raising kids on your own is hard. Not as hard as doing it without your husband's income but still hard, emotionally and physically. I don't think I could have done it at 22 under these same circumstances myself.
March 30th, 2007 at 09:57 am
Oh and to any potential grandma's and pa's out there...stop asking about grandchildren everytime you talk to your kids!
March 30th, 2007 at 10:14 am
And my Dear Husband has no idea how long he's going to be in the Army, which provides me a lot of stress since I am a master planner and now I have to plan two different lives, one if he stays in another 16 years, and another if he gets out early. I know, I know...if I were on Friends I'd be Monica, just a little obsessive about organizing/planning! lol